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My First Private Meeting
With K
by Pieter Langedijk
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The Quest
I remember very
well my first meeting with Krishnamurti. At that time, I was only 32 years old.
I used to live in a small tent on a camping of a small town. This place was in
the South of Switzerland, beside a small river with beautiful clear water and
trees on both sides of the river. There was a small wooden bridge over the
river. On the other side of the river, there was a big tent where Krishnamurti
gave his talks, once every two days at exactly eleven o’clock. He lived in a
beautiful wooden house, a chalet, which belonged to one of his friends.
Once I met Krishnamurti’s Dutch secretary and told her that I was studying
psychology and that I would like to have a talk with Krishnamurti. Next day she
told me I could come in the afternoon at three o’clock. That afternoon I went to
his place in my old car, dressed only in shorts and sandals. I parked the car in
front of the house, put on my socks and shirt outside the car, walked to the
front door and rang the bell. Immediately the door was opened by Krishnamurti. I
realized that Krishnamurti was behind the door and had seen me arrive and dress
myself outside the house.
In front of the conference tent I had seen how people were polite, bowing to him
and behaving as one does to a very important holy man. At that time he was 72
years old. Somehow I did not have that feeling towards him. For me he was a very
nice and interesting person, with whom I felt very much at ease. When he opened
the door, I enthusiastically said ‘Hello Sir’ and shook hands with him, as if we
knew each other very well. In the conference tent he was well-dressed, with nice
and polished shoes, and very clean pants and shirt. Now he was wearing a blue,
silk ‘peignoir’. He shook hands with me, turned around, and with his hand,
showed me the entrance of his room. At that moment I saw a big orange, Chinese
dragon at the back of his peignoir and his naked feet in sandals. When we walked
to the door he put his right arm around my shoulder as if I was his friend.
Together we walked to a table in front of the window. For me it felt normal as
if it was normal that a total stranger put his arm on my shoulder. I felt
totally at ease as if this was something which happened every day. In the room
he showed me the chair where I could sit and took the chair at the other
opposite side of the table. The door of the room was still open.
He asked me what I wanted to talk about. I told him that the problem was very
personal. Immediately he rose, went to the door and closed the door. Then I told
him about the problem. He listened with full attention, constantly looking at
me, without any movement of his hands, face or shoulders and as if every word
was very important. The interesting thing was that I did not feel shy, but I
felt that he was just listening, that he was not judging me. When people talk
with another person, they constantly shift their attention: looking one moment
at the face, a second later towards the hand or the chest or belly or even to
some other parts of the room and then again to the person. Krishnamurti did not
do that. He looked at me in a very relaxed way, not moving his eyes for one
second, just looking at me with full attention. He was looked at my face, but I
had the feeling that he saw every part of my body and my face, and even how I
moved my hand while I talked. He was not only was aware of what I said, but also
‘how’ I said it. He looked and listened without moving his head and eyes as if I
was the only thing which existed. It seemed that there was no thought in him and
that he just listened and understood exactly what I was saying. I think I have
never met a person in my live who, like Krishnamurti, listened to me so
intensely.
After so many years, I still remember this talk very well. The way he listened
has inspired me to behave in the same way when friends or clients talk to me. I
have the feeling that one can listen in that manner only when one is very quiet
inside and if one has a lot of patience. It requires also a lot of attention and
energy. When one is tired it is very difficult to listen with such an attention.
It is therefore difficult to listen in such a way when the mind is not free from
thoughts, feelings or problems. Trying to listen in that way is a good
‘exercise’ for the mind, especially when one tries to do that every day when
talking with people or listening to people. When one can listen to another
person in this attentive way, one can also apply this kind of ‘looking’ and
observation to observe one’s own feelings and thoughts in all kind of
situations.
K’s way of listening is totally different from what one sees in daily life:
between man and woman, between parents and children, between the boss and the
people who work for him, between the teacher and the student, and among people
who are discussing important problems on religious or political issues. Many
adults have big problems with listening and talking. When most people try to
listen to another person, one often sees how the listener is not really
listening. Many times people interrupt the speaker and give their meaning about
what the speaker is saying. They often try to interpret the meaning or tend to
judge the speaker, often negatively, thinking: ‘that is nonsense’, ‘you are
crazy’, etc. When I see the difference between what I experienced during the
talk with Krishnamurti and the normal behaviour in our daily lives, I wonder how
long our road to that kind of ‘mature’ behaviour is!
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